The Real and True story of "Trollface"

your name is Trollface, you live in a London flat alone, apart from every other weekend when your kid comes to visit. Life has been a challenge but you always manage to take things on with a smile on your face. It is a cold tuesday evening and you are watching sunday's football match, when suddenly your television screen turns blank. [[Get up and eat some yoghurt]] [[Eject the television out of your window]] [[you hear a knock at the door]]

You get up and go to grab a small pot of greek yoghurt from the fridge. You peel off the top and lick the excess off before throwing it into the bin. You reach into your cutlery drawer and take out a teaspoon> The first spoonful of yoghurt enters your mouth, its slightly sour, but quite delectable. At the seventh and final spoonful, you spill a little and it stains your hideously expensive tailored suit that you always wear after a good day of work. [[Eject the television out of your window]] [[you hear a knock at the door]] [[Eat another]]

You easily pick up the TV with your monstrous strength in just one hand, this is what you live for. after letting out your famous war cry "GUGGA GUGGA GOOOOO!" you defenestrate the object with incredible speeds. After 30 seconds you finally hear the crash and subsequent car alarm, the 400th floor is awfully cheap but damn if it isnt a pain in your backside [[Get up and eat some yoghurt]] [[you hear a knock at the door]]

*knock kncok* [[open the door]] [[buckle under the pressure]]

shit [[OH NO]]

You cant do it you just cant its over your life you cant carry on like this ''GAME OVER - pathetic whelp ending''

Fuckkkk you need another you tear into the next pot, dont even bother licking that shit no spoon needed get in there with your tonuge yum yum yum [[Eject the television out of your window]] [[you hear a knock at the door]] [[One more couldn't hurt]]

you eat another then another then another then another in your voracity you get a pots worth of yoghurt in your windpipe you cough and sputter and choke you cant get the yoghurt out of your lungs your face goes pale your vision fades ''GAME OVER - too much yog ending''

A large man dressed in a black suit and shades stands before you. He has an earpiece you are fucked for real [[say hi]] [[Dont let them take you alive]]

"hello there Trollface, Im here to tell you that your ex wife Derpina has sadly passed" [[what]] [[shit yourself]]

you drop to the floor and start devouring your feet you keep chewing untill you reach your thighs then your torso then you squeeze your arms in and finally your own face nothing remains of yourself the man watches stone faced ''GAME OVER - yum yum''

"Im afraid its true, she died of ligma" [[cry]] [[whats ligma]]

the tears they flow and flow [[cry more]] [[assault the man]]

balls my good sir ''GAME OVER - OWNED TOO HARD ''

it stinks bad [[what]]

you cry and cry untill you pass out [[blackout]]

you still know some moves from your wrestling days, its over for this guy you reach your arms around his waist and spin him around like a pinwheel using this momentum, you launch him out of your window after several minutes you hear all his bones shatter instantly [[blackout]]

[[...]]

[[.......]]

[[...............]]

[[Start<- wake up]]